The Gifts of an Unborn Baby

I’m tired.

And I’m tired of saying I’m tired. But when I try to explain my situation right now those are the words I have. I’m so so tired.

This last year has unravelled me. Exhausted me, to the point of breakdown. And not because I’ve been mindlessly slogging away, not because I’m unaware of warning signs, the limits of my body, or the destructive impact of too much, too long.

I’m painfully aware of these things. I’ve been consciously trying to change my own patterns of striving and overworking for years now and so much has changed. But I still lose my way.

Early last summer I stepped aboard a beautiful new project, Write Your Self. I did it even though I had my hands full with the re-launch of The Creative Doer, even though I had barely recovered from my latest dance with exhaustion, after my youngest was born and the pain in my back got so bad, and even though I really needed to focus on some money making activities, rather than spending a year on getting a new start-up off the ground.

I stepped aboard anyway. Because the pull was so strong. Because my heart was in it. Because I wanted to explore what it would be like to work in a team of women every bit as devoted and visionary as I.

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Written by Anna on . Posted in Life, and how to live it

If you’re on the wrong train

I don’t know how old you are, if you’re 27 or 67. What I know is that you’ve begun to question your choices. Probably not for the first time, but something is different this time. There’s an urgency that wasn’t there before.

Is this what my life is going to be like? Is this really how I wanted it to be?

Maybe you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re on the wrong track. Maybe you’ve even gotten off the train and now you’re standing on the platform, still a little dizzy from the ride. Maybe you got off voluntarily, with excitement as well as worry buzzing in your stomach. Maybe you fell off, unable to hold on any longer. Maybe you’re bruised and weary, too afraid to even lift your gaze and have a look around.

Either way, I’m glad you’re here. This is the beginning of something good.

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Written by Anna on . Posted in Life, and how to live it

Avoid the dark and you’ll miss out on the light

I’m in the process of letting go of my home right now. Our beloved old cottage has turned out to be too much work and too expensive to maintain for us to live here comfortably. And – what really sealed the deal – our girls have developed health issues directly related to the mould we recently discovered in the cellar.

So we’re letting it go. We’re taking care of what needs to be taken care of, and come January we’ll start looking for a new place to live.

I’ve been open with the fact that I’m a bit heartbroken about it. That I find it painful to let go of a place I love so dearly, and that this house has been more than a house for me – it has been a dream of HOME, the one I never had and the one I want for me and my family.

And when you own your less than happy feelings publically, you’re bound to get advise. Much of which revolves around letting go and moving on, not looking back, not crying but seeing the blessing in whatever is going on.

And of course, eventually that is the truth that will remain. The gift this mess holds.

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Written by Anna on . Posted in Life, and how to live it

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