[transcript of video] If we want to grow our work, we need to consciously cultivate our failure tolerance. We need to be patient with what this process is really like; the truth of it, not hang on to some idealized version of growth and success.
How much discomfort can you stand? How well do you know how to tend to your needs in the face of discomfort?
That’s probably the one thing that will impact your level of success the most. And oh, I bloody hate that! 🙂
I mean, it’s not black and white. I’m all about allowing ease into your work. Co-creating with your dream. That’s what I teach; being led and guided towards your goals. That’s all true. And doing it that way makes a huge difference as to the amount of ease in your work.
And then there’s also the fact that in the process of bringing this work into the world, you grow yourself, you grow to become worthy of it. The work shapes you as much as you shape it, the process will heal you for sure. And it will test you.
If you have lived for a bit, you know what healing work looks like. You know what growth looks like. It ain’t all love and light. It’s shadow work, it’s deep digging, discomfort, fear, stretching. Growing as a human will always involve discomfort, it’s just part of the deal. There’s no way around it.
And this relates to the challenge of being a woman and exposing yourself to the dislike of others. Most of the time, that dislike is not dangerous. Sometimes it is, but let’s leave that aside for a bit. Most of the time, it’s not dangerous. It’s just a matter of someone not agreeing with you. Someone doesn’t think you’re doing it the right way or whatever. It’s not dangerous, but it’s extremely uncomfortable. And we’re going to have to bear that discomfort. We’re going to have to choose that discomfort.
Because, here’s the most annoying part of it all, you’ll be uncomfortable whichever way you go. There’s no avoiding it. Life is uncomfortable (a lot of it anyways …) And you won’t escape any of it by quitting your dreams.
Staying small when you have the urge to grow, that is extremely uncomfortable.
Keeping the peace outside at the cost of the peace inside. That is extremely uncomfortable.
Growing will be uncomfortable.
What you get to do is choose your kind of uncomfortable, the discomfort of growth or the discomfort of stagnation or giving up. Make that choice with your eyes open, give up the fantasy and step into the real, uncomfortable, but really damn worthwhile journey that this is.
This is an excerpt from one of our monthly Growth Lectures in The Creative Doer community